Chapter 19 - I FIND THAT GOD IS AT WORK IN MY LIFE

GOD is at work in the life of each one of us. Intellectually this raises many problems, such as 'was God at work in the life of Judas Iscariot?' But I do not intend to embark upon an intellectual discussion, for the question just posed is bound up with the problem of evil, and we all know that the only real explanation of that is not to be found intellectually at all, but only through realization or direct knowing by the soul. When we have had such an experience we realize that what is true in our case must be true also in that of all men, in spite of the evil in so many lives. It is the same with the question of God being at work in the life of each one of us. We could never arrive intellectually at such a state of knowing, but God reveals it to us through deep experience extending over many years.

In my own case, I must have been unusually obtuse for it was not before I was over sixty years of age that I began to realize that God was at work in my life, and that I was not directing it at all. After this discovery, I thought for a time that I had no free will whatsoever, but later it came to me that I had free will after all, but within certain limits.

For many years it had become apparent to me that God was over-ruling everything for good. In spite of my mistakes, sins and follies, good finally emerged from the tangled skein so that what at the time may have appeared as evil frustration, was found to be a blessing in disguise. Consequently I could see that there must always be present a Central Harmony to which all things are related, and to which ultimately all things must conform. It was also borne in on me that this life is a reflection - and an imperfect one at that -- of our true and real life which is always being lived in God (the Central Harmony), and the disorders of life are due to our departure from the Divine Order or Central Harmony: first in our thoughts and, as a natural consequence, our actions.

Free-will consists in our being able to think and act according to our personal self-will, which of course is at variance with the will of the Whole. But the real life goes on according to the will of God (the Whole, or Central Harmony). Our departure from what I like to term 'Divine family harmony and order' is that we make life difficult for ourselves. 'Let the wicked (he who misses mark or departs from the true order of life) forsake his ways, and the unrighteous man (the man whose thoughts are right, but are a departure from Truth) his thoughts, and him return unto the LORD', who is Creative Order and Harmony far beyond our highest conceptions of order and harmony.

The Perfect Order continues: that is, it is always in a state of 'presentness'; it is always in the Eternal Now and it does not wax or wane. What is needed is that we should conform to it.

After many years of trying to think rightly and act rightly (experiencing many failures, of course), I gradually became conscious of the interior Divine Order at work in my life and affairs. Up till that time I had so to speak thought that it was I who had to do everything. It seemed that perfection had to be created by me as a result of much effort; but gradually I began to realize that Divine Perfection already existed, and always had existed, and that it was trying to manifest in my life and would do so if only I would allow it.

We belong to the Eternal, and interiorly we are one with 'That which changeth not'. The interior Order flows ceaselessly, in perfect harmony. The outward life is a counter of the interior Order, and all its disorders are due to departure from the Real and True. We have free will enough to make an awful mess of things in the outward life, but this can make no difference to the Inward life.

The prodigal son was reduced to poverty and misery, but his Father's house still carried on as usual; there was plenty of food and all the members of the household formed their various duties and acts of service, doing their appointed tasks at the right time and in the right way. The harmony of the home was not disturbed. It continued as before. It was only the prodigal son who suffered from hunger and discord, and this was because he had put himself outside the order of his father's home. He could find no order apart from his proper place in his father's home, doing the work which, as a son, he was privileged to do.

Everything, he undertook, after leaving his father' s home, ended in failure and created disorder, shame and suffering.

This was because he was not in his right place and was not doing his right work. His self-will, or the exercise of his free-will, took him from a home of peace, plenty and order into a wilderness of unrest, starvation and disorder.

Although he could do nothing right while he was away from his true environment, directly he returned to his proper place in the scheme of things, everything immediately became very right indeed. Instead of starving and trying to eat the rough husks with which the swine were fed, he found himself the guest of honour at a sumptuous feast. Everything he did now was harmonious, because he fitted into the organization of the home and he found himself doing his right duties in a right way and at the appointed time.

As I look back upon my own life I am struck by the fact that the parable of the prodigal son describes it perfectly.

Whenever I went the way of the prodigal I was like a fish out of water, and my companions looked upon me as a fool.

Nothing would go right with me; in fact, I suffered much through my follies and reduced myself to the lowest ebb.

Yet as soon as I began to live quite another kind of life, I was welcomed by everyone and success smiled upon me.

I can see now that life was all the time trying to push me back into my right path. I can see now that we can be truly successful only when we are travelling the path, and doing the work for which we are born. God always raises up the right man at the right time to do a certain work at a certain period in the world's history - for instance, John Wesley, George Fox and William Booth, to mention but three. No one else could have done their work. Each one was born at the right time; each one was born into just the right environment; each one possessed the right capabilities; each one could be truly successful only when he was travelling the path and doing the work for which he had been born. And each one passed on when his work was accomplished. What was true of these great men is also true of us lesser folk. Each one of us is born at the right time, in the right environment, and we can be truly successful only we do our right work and follow our true path. The farther we wander away from our true path and our right work, the less successful we become, as well as the more unhappy.

In my small way, I have found this to be very true. Whenever I was in my right path, doing my right work, life was harmonious and free from strain, whereas when I departed from my true path and work, my life was filled with disharmony and strain. Also (so I have found) we cannot be really happy if we are not in our true path, doing our right work. Worldly success cannot bring happiness if we have been destined to a life of consecrated humble service - indeed, great unhappiness and mental suffering will be experienced until wealth and worldly fame are cast aside and our true life's work entered upon instead.

This is where my former nefarious ideas - which that we can have every worldly desire satisfied by demanding it - fails. Making the search for things the chief object of life can lead only to unhappiness and frustration.

The more we clutter our lives up with possessions and gadgets, the less happy we become. Life should be made as simple as possible. But simplification in itself is not sufficient. Indeed, if followed as a thing in itself, it may make life more difficult. What is required is that we should find our true path in life, putting first things first; then if we do this all things necessary will be added. When we have a true aim in life we naturally shed ourselves and our lives of useless impedimenta. This is the true simplicity.

Jesus said: 'but seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.' He did not say that we were to seek first the loaves and fishes, and the Kingdom of God would then be added to us. This, however, is what I did at first, and because of this I had to suffer.

Nefarious teaching always turns upside down the real and true; it takes truth and then inverts it. It teaches its dupes to seek first the material things of life, and to use occult powers in order to force them into manifestation.

It even teaches them to say such things as 'I am God' or 'I am Divine Spirit' which has the effect of inflating the false ego, that is, the self which has to die before we can ever enter the path which leads to the Kingdom. Thus if we follow such teachings we are prevented from making a start in the right direction. Before we can go up, we must first of all go down, down, down, until there is nothing of the selfhood left. Then, and not till then, God is able to raise us up to be His instruments in the world. It is when we are willing to lose all as regards this world, that God is able to make all things new and fill our life with blessedness.

Yes, God is at work in the life of each one of us. Not only have I experienced it in my own life, but I have seen it in the lives of others. There have been those who have been able to make demonstrations every time, who thought that they had complete mastery over their own lives. But there came a time when they could make no demonstrations at all; everything failed, and they went down lower and lower until they died, and then rose again a new creation. The death of the 'self' is a painful experience, but first the 'I' and the 'me' and the 'mine' have to pass away before the Christ in us can be lifted up.

I have been through this experience. I started out to improve my outward life first, and after that I might think about the Kingdom of God. I was reversing the teaching of Jesus. I sought the things of this life first and succeeded, but because this was a reversal of Truth it brought me much dissatisfaction and sorrow. 'What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?' I was like the prodigal son. I had wasted my spiritual substance on acquiring the things of this world, and the things which I had won were as dust and ashes. What the husks given to the swine were to the prodigal son, even so were the things of this world to me - just as unsatisfying and nauseating.

God was at work in my life: I had been going one way, God wanted me to go another. He let me go on until I crashed and lay broken at His feet. Then when I understood fully how foolish and wrong I had been, and that without Him I could do nothing, God raised me up.

'Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it', said Jesus. But it is open to all who are willing to die in order to live. 'He that loveth his life shall lose it, and he that hateth his life ... shall keep it unto life eternal.'
'Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.'

When we die in this way, God gives us a fresh start as a new creation. The seed of corn dies, yet out of it springs a new life. It is not the old seed come to life again, but the old has died in order that a new creation might arise.

Again, Jesus tells us that except a man is born again he cannot enter into the Kingdom. He tells us that we have to be re-born, even as the corn of wheat is re-born when it dies to itself, so that it may arise as a new creation. We are re-born out of the material into the spiritual, after which we pray no more for material good, but desire only God and His perfect order, and are content to wait for things to be added to us, in God's own way, and in God's good time.

Yes, God is at work in each individual life. When we are ready for it, and if we are willing for it to take place, the transformation is brought to pass - but for most of us the transition is far from easy, while for many it may yet lie in the future. Everything, however, comes to pass at the right time. 'God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform.'

There was once a student who wrote to say that for many years she had been bed-ridden, in spite of the fact that she had prayed almost continuously for Divine healing. She had put her healing first and God second. And so the years went on, and still she remained unhealed and bed-ridden. But, in the great mercy of God, there came a time when the sufferer received such a realization of God that she prayed that if being healed were to mean that she would lose her new precious awareness of God, then she would rather not be healed. She wanted God, as well as to retain her 'knowing' of Him above all things. She would rather not be healed, if only she could have God. The result was that she was immediately healed and raised up. 'But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you ...

God was at work in the life of that woman. She was brought to see that her prayers were the opposite of what Jesus taught. Then as soon as she put God first and gave up her desire for material good, she not only experienced the ineffable joy of 'knowing' God, but the healing for which she had vainly prayed so long, was added.

God also has been at work in my own life. I have been brought to see that without God I can do nothing, and that all that I had achieved was but dust and ashes. But this woman and I are not special people, singled out by God for special treatment; what is true of us and our lives must be true of all people and all lives, for God is no respecter of persons. Also, Divine law works always the same and cannot alter: if it did alter or change then it would not be Divine law.

There is a right course for each one of us. We may try many things before we find our true niche in life; then as we look back, we see that each thing which we have attempted has been a preparation for the work we are doing at the present time, and that what appeared to us at the time as our greatest hindrances were really blessings in disguise and stepping-stones to higher things.

Life unfolds to us as we are borne along on the stream of time, and gradually the Divine pattern is revealed. Also, more and more it becomes evident to us that the Divine purpose is love. Love is the key to every situation in life, and love is the secret power which brings every Divine adjustment to pass.

As I look back on my life, I can see that it has been love all the way. At all times love has been heaped upon me, in spite of my unworthiness. We do not have to wait until we are good in order to be recipients of Divine love - it comes to us wherever we may be; it blesses us no matter how unworthy we may be.

Love does not make our life soft or our path easy, but it supports us all the day long, and blesses all that we attempt to do.

God is at work in the lives of all, therefore He is at work in the lives of nations and in the life of the world. Although God is All and is the only doer, yet He is not the cause of man's disorder and suffering. God creates all things in perfection, order and wholeness. Thus, in the true world which is the perfect expression of the Divine Idea, everything comes to pass at the right time in perfect order and harmony. In this true world, our real inner self has its being.

This outer self is a falsity; likewise the world which we cognize through the senses is a fake world, or rather a distorted reflection or counterfeit of the real world of perfection. The world, too, is largely a reflection of our thoughts and the thoughts of others. If we think good thoughts - that is, thoughts in accord with the interior Divine order, then goodness manifests in our life; if we think evil thoughts, then evil manifests. It is because the thoughts of mankind are evil (not according to the Divine order), that disorder abounds. There can, of course, be no improvement in the world until mankind alters its thoughts and its feelings.

We all know this, of course. The point that I want to make however is this: the changes which take place in the real world, have also to take place in this phantasmal world. But whereas in the real world the changes are orderly, beautiful and harmonious, in this world they can achieved only through strife and struggle. This is because we have departed from the Divine order, so that 'My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.'

The will of God which is Divine order, beauty, harmony, is always being done: the Divine action is always taking place: but we work in opposition to it, thus creating disorder in place of order. But although we create disorder yet God, as Divine Love, is always at work in our life, drawing us back to Himself and into His order and harmony.

God is at work in all our lives; that is, in the life of each one of us and it is a great satisfaction to know this. For He doeth all things well.