Chapter 22 - Critic and Criticized

“I don’t want to be criticized.”

“But you want to learn, don’t you? You surely are not satisfied that you know it all.” “Oh, of course I want to learn, but I want to learn by myself. I would rather be wrong than be criticized. I hate to be told how to do things. I want to find out for myself.” Solomon the Wise reasons not thus. Solomon prayed for wisdom above all things, and in receiving wisdom he received all else.

The man who thinks he would rather be wrong than be criticized is for the time being a moral coward and no Solomon. He values his “feelings” of the moment above wisdom. He does not want wisdom and knowledge above all things; he wants what wisdom and knowledge he can gain without the sacrifice of his feeling of self-complacency.

He is complacent as long as his friend says to him, “You are a good fellow, a very admirable fellow”; he feels good as long as he thinks his friend considers him wise; he expands and smiles, and works away in his own good way.

In his moments of confidence he will tell his friend that Wisdom and Knowledge are the greatest things in the universe; that we grow only by the acquisition of Wisdom and Knowledge; that growth is Life, and Life is Love or God. He will enthuse a bit and tell you Wisdom is God, the One Desirable One; and that by growing in wisdom man becomes conscious of his divinity.

Just here his friend, who is a prosy, practical sort of fellow, interrupts him. “See here, Smith,” he says, “you are not running this branch of your business quite right. You just ought to see how Thomson does that sort of thing.”

He gets no farther; Smith freezes instantly, and Jones’s confidences catch the vibrations. Smith is “so sensitive, you know” -- he would rather not know anything about better methods, than to stand the shock of a criticism. Jones talks about the weather a bit, and departs.

Smith continues to think he desires wisdom above all things. He doesn’t. He desires above all things to have his bump of approbativeness smoothed.

He fails to know himself. And he will not learn himself, because he refuses all truth which does not make him “feel” good.

He shuts himself off from a thousand avenues by which wisdom is trying to reach him. It is said our enemies are our best friends. Emerson bids us listen to them and learn of them.

Burns exclaims: --

“0 wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us
And foolish notion.”

Our critics are answering Love’s attraction to free us from blunders and foolish notions. Why not? Why resent a criticism? We are all members of “One Stupendous Whole.” Why resent and refuse another’s suggestion? It is our own suggestion, drawn by our own affirmed love for wisdom and knowledge.

We don’t understand ourselves; we don’t trust our surroundings. We say we want wisdom above all things; we want to understand. In our heart of hearts we do love wisdom above all things; therefore we attract it through all avenues.

It is our soul’s love for wisdom and knowledge which attracts to us the criticisms of friend and foe.

If we really believed that we attract what we receive; that “our own” comes to us; that all things are working together to gratify our soul’s desires; -- if we really believed all this we would meet criticism in a friendly spirit, with senses alert to find the kernel of wisdom it is bringing us.

To resent a criticism is to re-send, to send away, a bit of knowledge your soul has been praying for. All because your bump of approbativeness has an abnormal appetite for prophecies of “smooth things.”

But to re-send a criticism is not to get rid of it. It comes back to you over and over, and perhaps every time in a little ruder form.

If you speak softly to a friend and he fails to hear, you repeat in a louder tone; if he is very deaf you holler, and perhaps touch his shoulder to gain his attention.

All creation is alive, and pursues the same tactics. When you resent (re-send) a criticism, Creation sends it back at you a little more emphatically. If you still resent it Creation puts still more force into repeated sendings. She keeps this up, in answer to your own semi-conscious desire for wisdom and knowledge, until by some hook or crook you take the kernel of knowledge contained in that criticism. Then Creation smiles and lets you alone -- on that line.

The way to avoid Creation’s kicks is to accept her hints as they come to you in the form of friendly criticism or suggestion.

Not all criticisms are true in their entirety, but every one contains somewhere a suggestion by which you may profit -- by which you may grow in wisdom and knowledge.

Don’t let that one little bump of approbativeness make you re-send that knowledge -- and bring down Creation's kicks to drive it home.

But don’t get the idea that that little round nub of approbation is “bad.” He is not. He is a good and useful member of your family, and deserves to be well fed and cared for and respected.

But feed him so well on your own good opinions that he will not sulk and kick if he doesn’t receive unlimited taffy from others. Get away up high in your own opinion. Know yourself a god, unique, indispensable to Creation. You have powers and wisdom and knowledge not possessed by anybody else in the world. Nobody who ever lived or ever will is any better or any more of a god than you are.

Neither is anybody less good or less of a god than you. We are different -- that is all. Every man has his individual goodnesses and his peculiar point of view -- no better than yours, but different.

It takes every man in the world to see all sides of anything, or anybody.

Every individual who is at all wise wants to see all sides of things. The only chance he has of doing this is to look at things from other people’s points of view, as well as his own; to put himself in other people’s places; to see as others see; to vibrate with the other fellow -- who sees another side of the same thing.

Listen to your critic. See yourself as he sees you. He is your best friend, drawn in answer to your soul’s cry for more wisdom and knowledge. Be friends with him. Hush the clamor of approbativeness with your own high affirmations of your goodness and worth -- hush the clamor and listen. The spirit in you will separate the chaff from the wheat of the criticism; a smiling little “Poof!” will blow away the chaff; and your soul will expand and increase in stature by assimilating the wheat.